Tuesday, November 10, 2015


Hi everyone! We have moved the Be Distinguished Blog to our new website. 
Please visit http://distinguishedyw.org/about/blog/ to find all of our new blog posts. 

We hope that you will visit our new website!

Monday, April 27, 2015

Direction for Rejection - by Abbie

As I was browsing through Pinterest the other night, I came upon this quote from Steve Maraboli- “As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”

Needless to say, I re-pinned it. But I also really started to question the truth behind this quote, which this post will explore in some detail.

How many of you have felt this way? Defeated. Overcome. Completely done. As Marboli says, these rejections that we face seem to be the end of the world. Many times I find myself saying, “What else could go wrong?” If you can remember, what has happened because of those troubling and heartbreaking times? Usually, you learn something from the experience, build strength and determination from it, or even get offered an even better opportunity afterwards. I know this is all in hindsight, but there is a pattern! God works in mysterious ways, and even if you do not believe in a higher being, I’m sure we can agree that each and every one of us has a plan for our lives. On our journey through life it is impossible to avoid pain and suffering, that’s just how humanity works. On the other hand, we have the intelligence and capability to learn from our mistakes, grow in our weaknesses, and become stronger through the hard times in life. I know what you’re thinking right now… “She’s being way too optimistic.” Or “She has no idea what I have gone through.” Yes, you may be right. This does sound a bit too hopeful and positive, considering that suffering is not normally a good thing, especially when we are experiencing it in the moment. I also cannot imagine the pain that most of you have gone through, but I am a teenage girl, so I can assure you that I have been through my share of intense drama, disappointing heartbreaks, and humiliating experiences myself. With that being said, I offer you a few points to think about:

Everything happens for a reason. This is one of my biggest life mottos. If you can believe this, and remember that your stress and suffering is meant to be in your life for some reason it will save you at least a little bit of heartbreak. Where you are right now does not determine your future. Now, what you decide to do with your successes and failures do, so take full advantage of what you’ve been given (resources, lessons, etc.). But just remember that where you are today is where you are supposed to be… Because everything happens for a reason.

“If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.” This is an old quote I have heard a lot, but I think it is really relevant in this discussion. A lot of times we want only the good in life, but none of the suffering or toil that get us to the good times. But as Dolly Parton tells us, we have to trek through the rain in order to survive to see the rainbow. Now suffering is subjective, so it might be a little trickle or a torrential downpour, but no matter the pain you can make it through! Just keep going and remind yourself that there is a plan, and you have the opportunity to turn this catastrophe into a beautiful surprise.

You have not been defeated; you have been given a chance to prove them wrong. What would have happened if people like Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, or Mother Teresa just gave up when things got hard? These are figures that have changed the course of history, and went through an incredible amount of suffering do so. They did not view the suffering as defeat, though. Instead, they used it as fuel to propel themselves further than what others thought possible. As I have stated before, the future is in your hands; don’t give up when things get rough!

Now, I’m not expecting for us all to be perfect now and recognize that suffering always leads to good things. In fact, it only leads to positive outcomes when we change our course of direction. So take control of your mindset. Think positive and don’t let setbacks keep you from accomplishing your dreams. Lastly, I want to leave you with something my mom always told me growing up. “It’s not over.” You’ve probably heard this a bazillion times, but just remember this every time you feel defeated or think about giving up. You have so much to offer this world, and no one can take that away from you. You may be heading down into the biggest ditch of your life, but you have time to get back out because it’s not over!  Turn your rejection into a new direction.

Abbie Hebron is a college freshman at Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri majoring in Dietetics. Originally from O'Fallon, MissouriAbbie was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Missouri for 2014. Learn more about Abbie here!

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Spring Break Reflections - by Jacqueline

A couple days ago, admission results for my school came out. It was strange to think that exactly a year ago, I’d gotten the good news and began the 6-month anticipation period leading up to orientation. It’s even crazier to think that I only have a quarter left of my freshmen year. So, this spring break, I took some time to jot down a couple things I’ve learned this past year.

1. Getting in is just the beginning

For me, high school was so focused on getting into college, and I realize now that I never thought much about what I would do once I actually started college.

No matter what school you end up at, success is never just handed to you, and you have to take the time to figure out what you want to do in the future. Now, I’m not saying you have all four years of your college life mapped out, but it’s definitely helpful to take some time off Netflix your senior summer and at least get an idea. Even if you don’t stick to it, at least you won’t be overwhelmed by all the different possibilities and will have some sort of direction.

As for me? I came in as a potential English major and then considered everything from Computer Science to Communications to Psychology – you name it. I ended up going off the classes that I enjoyed the most and narrowed it down to Public Policy and Economics (for now at least).

2. Campus groups are a great way to get exposure to new fields

A key difference between high school and college extracurriculars is the expected time commitment. While in high school, it was very possible to do a million things at once, in college, it’s better to find just one or two things that align with your interests and stick to them.

I’d always loved singing as a hobby, and so I did something that I never imagined I would do – I tried out for a cappella. I ended up joining Testimony, Stanford’s Christian a cappella group, and have made some of the best memories and closest friends through it.

I also decided to try joining a pre professional group. Although I had no experience, I’d always been interested in business and marketing, so I applied for Stanford Marketing. Through working as an Associate for the group, I’ve gained skills that will help me if I actually decide to work in the field.

3. You learn to love learning for the sake of learning

While I feel that college classes are significantly harder than high school classes, I also feel like I’ve learned more in just two quarters than I have through all my life. Since I’m taking classes that relate to what I want to do in the future, I’m very interested in the material and want to do well not just for the grade, but also so that I can perform well in whatever job I end up in.

College classes teach you self study and set your own learning schedules, and because of that, your capacity for learning increases. I like to block out a couple hours each day where I go to the library, free of distractions, to do my work. It definitely helps to have a schedule so that you can find a good balance between your academics and your social life.

4. You figure out the best fit for your social life

After four years of high school with the same people, it’s really exciting to come into college with a fresh start, and the opportunity to meet so many amazing people. Living in a freshmen dorm has been so great because you get close to your housemates so quickly. My closest friends come from both inside my dorm and outside, from the students groups I am a part of.

In fall quarter, I remember being stressed at times because there was so much going on socially, and I didn’t want to miss out, but I also didn’t want to fall behind academically. But, as I said before, you figure out what schedule works best for you, and eventually you find a balance of work and play.

I think it’s so important to figure out what kinds of social environments you are most comfortable with. Partying isn’t for everyone, and sometimes a night in with a few friends is just as fun as a night out.

5. Try to form healthy habits early on

After a couple months of dorm food, it’s easy to fall into the trap of eating instant noodles and pizza on a regular basis. While these options are cheap, they’re obviously not good for you. When you’re not getting enough sleep and also not eating healthy, you won’t feel energized throughout the day, and are more prone to higher stress levels.

Early on in the year, it’s a good idea to find healthy alternatives – yogurt, oatmeal, fruits, etc. This way, you won’t go hungry, but you’ll also be doing your body a favor.

6. You do you

For me, this one is the hardest thing to do, but also the most important. With so many opportunities in front of you, and so many people around you who seem to know exactly what they’re doing, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to other people. You have to pause and remember that each person is on his/her own path. You also have to decide what defines success for you personally, and measure your progress based on your own expectations rather than other people’s.  Keep asking yourself if you’re happy and if you’re fulfilled – if you’re not, it might be a good time to reflect!

Jacqueline Wibowo is a college freshman at Stanford University in Stanford, California. Originally from San Diego, CaliforniaJacqueline was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of California for 2014. Learn more about Jacqueline here!

Friday, March 27, 2015

E Pluribus Unum …out of many, one - by Brooke

I’ve always had a love for history, simply because it gives us so much insight on why things are the way they are today and how they’ve changed throughout the years. Washington, D.C. is the perfect place to learn and experience the past of our own country hands on, even if history isn’t your favorite subject.

had never been to D.C. before, so I could barely contain my excitement when I found out I was going. Plus, I’m a huge “Scandal” fan, which made the trip that much better. As we landed in the Reagan National Airport, the Washington Monument came into view, and chills broke out all over my arm.

There’s so much to do in the area, so needless to say, our schedule was jam packed with activities. I started off Wednesday morning by getting the privilege to meet my state senators from Georgia, Senator Isakson and Senator Perdue. When I imagine anyone in government, I tend to think of these stiff individuals hunched over piles of paperwork. However, it couldn’t have been more opposite. They were so friendly, both encouraging me to contact them if I ever needed anything. I always feel so honored that I’ve been able to represent my state through this whole journey, and getting to be recognized on The Capitol steps for the accomplishment was the icing on the cake. 

My visits with senators weren’t just limited to Georgia, though. I also had the chance to meet with Senator Shelby and Senator Sessions from Alabama. Once again, I had the great experience of meeting two great, down-to-earth men who were excited to hear about the Distinguished Young Women program and how it’s been transforming the lives of girls from all over America.

My last official meeting for the trip was with Congressman Bradley Byrne’s Chief of Staff, Alex Schriver, and Legislative Director, Matt Weinstein. What I really loved about meeting with them is the fact that they’re both so young and yet already so successful with their careers. Alex Schriver became the Chief of Staff at the age of 25 and is now 27. It was a great reminder that you never have to feel limited by your age. When you’re truly passionate about something, go after it full force and don’t let anything get in your way.

As fun as all of these meetings were, and they truly were fun, some of the best parts of the trip were getting to tour the city. My personal favorite was getting to see The Declaration of Independence in The National Archives Museum. Looking on that historically famous document took my breath away. Just envisioning the men who gathered to write and sign to England that America would now be a free country was unbelievable.

To add to the unbelievable moments, we also traveled to Mount Vernon where we had the privilege of going to the very top of George Washington’s house, in the cupola, something very seldom granted (our tour guide, Sue, spoke of the King and Queen of Norway going up there). And of course, we hit all of the must sees such as the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial, and last but in no way least, The White House. Standing in front of The White House truly felt like a dream. To think of all of the stories that house must hold as it’s passed on from president to president is mind boggling. I couldn’t resist imagining myself living in that house one day.

Walking around a city with a lifetime of history engraved in every part of it really helps put things into perspective. Even though I was sad to leave, I was glad to know I was leaving with a deeper respect for my country. It made me think, who am I to say something is unachievable? These men gave everything they had, all the way down to their lives, for me to have the life and rights I do now. I plan on honoring that dedication by going after every dream I have, no matter how big or small.

Brooke Rucker is a college freshman at Florida State University in Tallahassee, Florida majoring in Dance. Originally from Cartersville, Georgia, Brooke was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Georgia for 2014 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2014. Learn more about Brooke here!

Monday, March 23, 2015

Your Role as a Role Model - by Abbie

About two months ago, on January 13 to be exact, my life was completely changed. I woke up that morning as Auntie Abbie. My older sister, Alison, and her husband had their first child. Her name is Reese, and she is the cutest, most precious thing I have ever seen in my life. Now, this past weekend I was asked to be Reese’s godmother. {Insert screaming girl voice here.} I was overwhelmed with joy (and quite a load of tears), and now I am anxiously awaiting the baptism of my beloved niece!

I tell you this story to preface a conversation about a recently lingering thought of mine- the importance of role models in our lives. I want to be the best role model I can for Reese, but the thought has been pretty overwhelming so I thought it would be best to discuss it with you.

I cannot even tell you how many times I have been asked who I look up to (or some form of this question), as I am sure you can relate as well. The truth is, when I actually think about it, so many people have influenced my life as a role model. Most of them would probably never even guess that they have. Relatives, friends, and teachers- they’re all amazing people to look up to. You might even find a great celebrity that has touched your life in one way or another. All of these people- the people we admire and strive to be like- have shaped who we are.

I want to start by analyzing the importance of role models. I think the only way to really get my message across is to get on a personal level with you.

Think of the people you look up to, and try to list as many as you can in just a minute. There is no way you can name every single one of these people in 60 seconds. All of these people considered, how different would your life be if they were not in it? Probably very different! Now that you see how many people have influenced you, try to take a minute and think about those that you have touched in some way. This might be a bit harder. You will never possibly know the entire scope of people on this list.

My point is, being a role model is just as important as looking up to a role model. Everyday you meet countless people, and you probably influence (either positively or negatively) a great majority of them. For example, I might influence my close friends and younger sisters by my actions and words, but there are probably people at the classes, stores, and restaurants that I go to that see my actions and are influenced by them in one way or another.  This is why it is incredibly important to be aware of your actions at all times. It is so important that you set a good example for the younger generations below you. I know I look up to my grandma, mother, older sisters, and even older friends for advice. Always try to remember that someone is watching you (in the most un-creepy way). What you say, and more importantly what you do, gives a great deal of insight to those who look up to you.

I saw this quote awhile ago, and it has stayed with me every since: "If you even feel like giving up, just remember there's a little girl watching who wants to be just like you.  Don't disappoint her."

That little girl, for me, is my niece, but I know that my actions can affect anyone. Even though the quote is primarily speaking to women, the message can be applied to everyone. Your life is an example to all who you encounter. Make it a great example, one that inspires them to be the best they can be!

Abbie Hebron is a college freshman at Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri majoring in Dietetics. Originally from O'Fallon, MissouriAbbie was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Missouri for 2014. Learn more about Abbie here! 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Is Chivalry Dead? - by Abbie

We live in a growing feminist world, which to many women is encouraging. Being a feminist, though, does not mean that you have to be “against” men. Believe me, I think it is extremely important to empower the women of the world and to inspire them to have confidence in themselves, especially since our society has grown accustomed to constantly degrading them. But there does seem to be this new type of characteristic associated with this feminist movement - the “I can do anything, and I do not need a man’s help.” motto that some have adopted.

Before I go on, I do want to stress the importance of believing in yourself and have the confidence to run after your dreams. I have dedicated a large portion of my time for the past five years working with and hopefully empowering young women. So, I hope that what I am about to say does not make anyone too mad, but actually encourages some thought and reflection.

One great thing about a confident woman is that she demands respect. I don’t mean in a physically threatening way, but her self-assurance and personal worth calls for kindness and a unique form of reverence, especially when men see her. As women, this is what we strive to be. Motivated. Poised. Independent. Men respect and seem to be driven towards this type of girl. But in reality, are we ever going to be that perfect version of ourself? As I mentioned in my last post, no because it is physically impossible.

In the media, there has been this recurring theme popping up everywhere. There is this theory that chivalry has been distorted, and some would even say it is inexistent or “dead”. I have been really intrigued by this notion, because as a girl I want to know why some men do not treat me with the courtesy that I deserve. (I hope I am starting to relate to most of the girls now. I think we all feel this way.) Most women immediately think that it is the men that have gone wrong and trashed the immaculate virtue of chivalry. And for a long time I believed that as well. I would walk into a building after a man, and get the door slammed in my face. I would sit on the floor in the lunchroom on a busy afternoon at high school. I’m sure you women can think of several times you were not treated with the utmost regard from a man. So, yes, men in general do not have a recent running record of chivalry, but can we really assume that it is all the guys’ fault? In my opinion, no.

First, I don’t think all men are raised to inherently see the dignity in a woman. I know that is no excuse, but we cannot hold a standard to all men. I think women are the same; we are not all perfectly kind to every man we meet, and some of those attitudes are products of the families we were raised in. In other words, some people just can’t help it. For the most part, though, I firmly believe that men do have a significant amount of respect for women, but are afraid to show they are vulnerable. The media puts a stereotype on men to be strong, unwavering, tough, and the list could go on and on. Not only does the media pressure most men, but I think some feel belittled by women. Now, I don’t mean that they feel inferior or anything, but the way that some women treat mens’ acts of chivalry is humiliating. This feminist idea that women do not need men for anything has influenced a trend in our society. When a man gives up a seat in a crowded room for a woman, most women would probably refuse it so they do not look weak. So when a man is put down one by one, he eventually becomes immune to the chivalry that was once burning inside him.

I heard one of my friends talking about this last week, and it really resonated with me, and I hope you can find some worth in it as well. He was saying that some (notice, I am not trying to group all women under this umbrella) women do not accept chivalrous gestures, so why should he feel inclined to offer them when he knows he will likely be humiliated? I think it is time for women to consider this. I want to challenge all of you women reading to simply accept kind acts from men. If you let them be courteous and chivalrous, I believe that it will slowly become the obvious thing to do. It is okay to be confident in yourself, and still acknowledge the kindness of a man. They can both coexist, I promise. And men, I want you to know that women really do appreciate your respect and courtesy. Give us another chance to accept your polite gestures.

So, to answer the question… No, I do not believe that chivalry is dead.

Abbie Hebron is a college freshman at Missouri State University in Springfield, Missouri majoring in Dietetics. Originally from O'Fallon, MissouriAbbie was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Missouri for 2014. Learn more about Abbie here!